Dealing With It
by palomino333
Summary: Directly after Battle City. Yami is given time alone to think on his own humanity, and the unwanted burden it carries.


I want to approach an issue that is largely ignored in the fandom: what Yami no Yugi has to go through in-between duels. He lives vicariously through Yugi, and therefore has a lot of personal problems to struggle with in his free time. Yami isn't just some spirit conjured out of anywhere; he has a life and needs of his own. I know some readers will probably disagree with what I have him do, but others may not. is just a theory.

I actually like Revolutionshipping, Regalshipping, and Avishipping, but the issue is that at the end of the day, they probably won't work. That leaves Puzzleshipping. I honestly see Yugi and Yami as more a father and son, or brothers, than anything else. Yugi clearly is attracted to Anzu, and Yami is more of a loner with his own ever-changing mentalities. In a way, the father and son role is reversible. Yugi teaches Yami to be more human, while Yami teaches Yugi how to be more confident in himself. Not to say that I will attack those who like Puzzleshipping. In fact, I can see it work if it is written well. Then again, that can be hard at times, as the fandom tends to be saturated with slash fics. Now, I've written slash on my own, but there is absolutely no excuse to write well-established characters in the series out-of-character just for the sake of slash.

Yami tends to think in circles as a reflection of the fact that the interior of the Puzzle is an endless labyrinth. He rarely speaks in this story because he is the only one that inhabits the Puzzle (Bakura does, as well, but at this point in time, Yami is unaware of this).

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><p>Solitude and idleness. In Yami no Yugi's personal opinion, the two terms were on par with curse words. It was simple to understand why the first word elicited not only negativity from him, but even strong feelings of pain. Isolation did things to a man, things he didn't always want to talk about, let alone recount in his mind. Every step Yami took in this massive labyrinth brought a wash of shame over him as memories of wandering throughout this very same place in the past, desperately searching for, and even calling for, a companion, came back. It made him feel childish and weak to realize that he had gripped the concept of togetherness so tightly, whereas he couldn't have been further from its practice…It was no wonder he had favored the Mind Crush in the past.<p>

He never would fathom the idea of being jealous of Yugi, but it did damage him to know that the young boy had been fortunate enough to have a family and friends of his own, something that Yami didn't. True, Yugi's friends, especially Miss Mazaki, had also found their own sense of respect and affection for him, but the fact remained that he wouldn't have even met them if it had not been for Yugi. Yami chuckled softly as the vision of Anzu, her brunette hair flowing during the dancing duel with Step Johnny, filled his mind's eye at the mention of her. She was quite a girl, that one, with her kind demeanor, and strength of will. She would never let a friend down. Her duel with Mai back in Duelist Kingdom gave that credence. Yugi was lucky to have her as such a close friend.

The Spirit of the Sennen Puzzle was currently seated on a set of stairs in the labyrinth, his arms crossed, and one leg thrown over the other. Yugi was fast asleep at the moment, which gave him plenty of time to muse due to the lack of bodily necessities, as jarring as they were whenever he was in control of Yugi's body. That brought the second abomination forward. If Yami could say he thrived on anything, it would be zeal. The rush of adrenaline in a duel was something that never got old. He simply couldn't get enough of it. Running alongside that was the combined excitement and fear of a new discovery relating to his past.

Yami could never find the words to describe the elation he felt at the opportunity to reclaim his recollections of a life that was gone from him. It gave him a sense of inner purpose, and perhaps, peace, that he hadn't had before. Not that he had been without a purpose; acting as Yugi's guardian had been his first and foremost duty, but this was something all in itself. It was more about him than Yugi this time. At the same time, however, there was also the fear. The peace was dubious. Yami had once ruled ancient Egypt, that wasn't to be disputed. It was difficult, however, to determine whether or not he had been a just ruler. Considering that he was at least somewhat versed in shadow powers, and he was currently imprisoned, the odds weren't looking too good.

Yami brought the suspended leg down, his foot landing on the stone with a decided thump."I musn't overanalyze." Unfortunately, there wasn't much else to do, save to pace within this area, stare at the furnishings of Yugi's room, or…He shook his head vigorously. "I'd rather not." That staved off temptation for a little while, but boredom caused it creep right back up on him. Yami kept his arms tightly about himself, physically turning his head away as if the tantalizing thought had taken a solid form. The main issue lay right there. The fact that it was a thought, rather than a thing, caused it to get the better of him. His pride didn't allow him to admit defeat, even when it was clear who was the victor.

The image of Anzu reappeared to him, only different features were accentuated…Features he found himself unable to look away from, much to his embarrassment. She had stripped off her jacket in order to keep the heat from overwhelming her while dancing, leaving her covered with only a tube top that generously exposed her navel. To tell the honest truth, she looked incredible. Her thin waistline had been just perfect, her sweat plastering her top and hair to her flesh, all the while catching the beating lights above and making her glow…Not to mention the way her breasts slightly bounced with each movement, their jiggling only off-put by how her short skirt flew up ever so little…

Yami mentally slapped himself before burying his hot face in his hands. It was wrong on so many different levels to think that way. Above all, he didn't need raunchy thoughts distracting him from his dueling. Not to mention the fact that Yugi had his feelings for the girl. Yami had seen that quite well when Yugi had been brought to tears during Otaki's vicious freezing of Anzu. It had killed him to see his friend pound on the ice sheet with such passion, such anguish…It had been closely followed by Yugi's chivalrous act of surrendering his school jacket in order for her to keep warm.. Coming between that would be completely wrong.

"Stop!" Yami let go of his face to hold out his hand in the symbolic gesture that matched the word. Anzu was off-limits, as much as her second admirer hated to admit it. At least he could live with that. Yami groaned as he raised his head. He hadn't asked to deal with this, but it came with the territory. The loneliness of not having a single friend had been devastating in ways he couldn't even consider himself capable living through. It actually caused him to doubt his existence from time to time. Was he really sitting on this set of steps? Thankfully, this bout that had been dealt to him due to his solitary confinement hadn't been as high in caliber, but that didn't mean it wasn't painful, quite the contrary. What worried him, however, was the fact that this issue tended to collide with the first.

In short, at the fixed biological age of fifteen, Yami knew the beast inside him far too well. Manhood didn't necessarily signal the best of things. It didn't help that he was sharing the vessel of a boy that was about his age, all handicaps included. Yugi was the lighter half of this being, but that didn't mean the student's desires didn't exist. There was a reason why Yami preferred to remain in spirit form, otherwise he would've been driven mad. Hunger and thirst went away easily; out of sight, out of mind. This, however, was a completely different being altogether.

Yami tugged a little on his jacket collar to loosen it. The heat in his body hadn't gone back down yet, and it was making him uncomfortable. He would never get over the oddities of the place he called home. On the one side, he was only a spirit, but on the other, he was solid enough to feel discomfort. Yami, as against it as he was, had to allow this to continue. The stress of the Battle City finals had disallowed these thoughts to reappear, but now, that wall had to come down.

Not surprisingly, it was Mai Kujaku who was to follow. Yami wouldn't dream of voicing this around Yugi (or Jonouchi, for that matter), but while Anzu was a princess in her own right, Mai was a queen. Her beautiful gold hair formed a sort of veil above her striking violet eyes, the latter of which tended to either be widened in humor or overconfidence, or narrowed in anger or suspicion. The precious few times when Mai's face was wiped clean of its intensity, her features relaxed in gentleness, those were when she truly looked ethereal. Warrior first, sister figure second. It was a shame that she couldn't be more of the second, but that didn't suit her personality as much. In fact, Yami would have been shocked otherwise.

Of course, her wardrobe selection was not something to be brushed off. She wore that jacket far too much. Her lacy white tube top would certainly draw any man's eye. After all, she was more developed than Anzu, and its tightness only emphasized that…Yami whimpered, shrugging off his coat. Why did he consent to this? Then of course, was the lower half of her body. The heeled boots did a lovely job of bringing out the curvature of her rear end.

He smirked in spite of himself. If Jonouchi saw him now, he would probably be paying for it. Not that Yami was inclined to let his drive live in the physical realm. He had rescued Mai on quite a few occasions, but it was Jonouchi in whom she found solace. It wasn't worth complaining over; the young man had helped her to open up, and learn to trust more in the strength of having friends, an interesting parallel between Mai and Jonouchi and himself and Yugi, now that he thought about it. Whether it was placing her star chips in her hand, or rushing to her side during the Winged God Dragon of Ra's attack, Katsuya was clearly her man.

That left one last lady, a newcomer. Yami tilted his head back at the mere thought of her: Isis Ishtar. She was quite a lovely, elegant woman, independent, too, like Mai and Anzu. That hair of hers…Unlike Anzu's cropped style, its ebony trail flowed, and unlike Mai's, which gave the sense of being unkempt, it was perfectly arranged. The adornment of her jewelry, even without the Sennen Tauk, accentuated that. Those beautiful blue eyes could pierce right through anyone she showed animosity toward, but that was to be expected, considering her past. Her modest style of dress didn't detract from her appearance, rather, its white color called to mind the concept of chastity.

Yami tried to ignore the fact that he was thinking of chastity and sexuality at the same time as he unbuckled his collar, letting it hang loose around his neck. Hypocrisy at its finest. The sweat had glued the leather to him, leaving a red imprint encircling its circumference. He leaned forward, taking a few breaths.

Isis was, by her family line, a servant to the pharaohs, and therefore, in a roundabout way, his servant. He didn't like to look on her that way. She carried herself far too much like a leader to be demoted to that status. She firmly stood for what was right, even if it meant fighting against her own flesh and blood. Watching her brother fall to his inner darkness, all the while fearing what he could do to her, would have given her more than enough reason to quit. Isis, however, stayed strong, even after Malik's dark side had fully manifested itself in taking over his body.

Although the battle had been won, she still had to deal with the personal baggage. Biologically speaking, Isis was the oldest in her family, as Rishid was adopted. She was the head of the household, whether she liked it or not. Yami sighed. If he could've done anything to help her, he would have. He could save the world, but he couldn't assist his friends with their personal problems.

Isis wasn't the only one. He couldn't make it so Yugi's father could stay home more often, rather than going off on business trips. He couldn't give Anzu the big break she needed in order to become a professional dancer. He couldn't force Jonouchi's father to be less abusive…Yami laughed sarcastically. For as powerful a duelist as he was, he was far too limited. It hurt badly. As much as he valued camaraderie, it brought him so much sorrow at the same time. There was really no help for him.

Yami raised an eyebrow. Funny, even though this session was supposed to make him feel at least somewhat better, he only ended up feeling worse. He wondered if that made him a masochist. "Wonderful," he muttered to himself, his fingers clenching the shape of the stone stair he sat upon. Yami rarely used sarcasm, but it seemed appropriate now. With his disheveled clothing, and hunched over pose, he looked far more like an awkward teenager, rather than a ruler.

Yami's mouth formed a straight line. Living for thousands of years brought him nothing, rather, it set back his own mental growth. If anything, he felt more like a child than an aged man. Pharaoh? He couldn't see himself as one. On the other hand, considering the content of the books he had read over Yugi's shoulder, he might've been worthy. Yugi had begun to research ancient Egyptian history in order to assist his friend, and both of them had found that most of the past rulers had been quite young. Still, that wasn't an excuse. There were times when he wished he could stop his brain from functioning altogether, and this was one of them.

He opened his eyes, and let out a short breath. Dawn was a long way off, and he needed a distraction. Yami had considered himself more an adolescent than anything at this point in time, and he had gone this far into his fantasies…Why not? He would have less and less time to himself now that Yugi and he had received the god cards, and the majority of the Sennen Items. Despite this, his fingers still laced themselves together against his will. Such a practice was quite looked down upon, even in this modern age.

Not that he doubted Yugi would engage in it, as absurd as that might have seemed. Even gentlemen had their needs. Yami spared him the embarrassment by not speaking with him on the subject. That didn't make things any easier for him. Not having a female presence for so long had taken away the ability to even think of this. Now, well…Yami gave a decisive grunt, pulling his fingers apart. Stomping on the tail of a snake wouldn't kill it, but there was no way to perform the decapitation. Leaving it alone altogether would allow for it to grow as a threat. His belt buckle clicked as it was undone. No one, besides himself, ever said he had to be perfect.


End file.
